A Few Words About Fat

YP's comments on my last blog entry didn't bother me too much at first. For one thing, I surmise he's really a very caring person who masquerades as a curmudgeon. For another, he's English. And I don't really know about English standards for good taste. And third, I usually assume that people have good intentions.

But in general I'm no longer tolerant of people (men especially) who judge women by their weight. And while I'm perfectly willing to spar with anyone who wants to comment on my own fat butt, I don't want to hear any comments about my friends.

Now, let me tell you about my friends. Both are teachers. Sandy is a retired speech teacher. She worked with kids who have speech impediments. Merlene teaches high school kids who have been addicted to drugs and alcohol, at a school that is often their last chance. I am in total awe of the work both of these ladies have done.

They are experienced travelers who go to South America and Europe and traipse all over the place on their own. Neither has led a charmed life, but both have worked hard to get where they are today. And if you saw them in person you would immediately notice how lively they are: their sparkling eyes, sneaky wit, and zest for fun. I love them. So back off, buddy.

Anyone over 50 should understand by now that no one chooses to be fat. I didn't choose it, but it happened anyway. And I don't want to hear a bunch of shit about watching what you eat, counting calories, etc. I defy anyone out there to follow me around for a month and eat what I eat and see if you're happy about it. I do it because I want to keep my diabetes under control without drugs, and I want to do that because I've found it's no fun to lose toes.

It's very hard to eat "right." For one thing, most of us don't really know what that entails. And for another the food manufacturers confuse things by packaging some products as "diet" food that are anything BUT that. Start counting carbs and you'll soon discover what I mean.

Those of you with skinny butts who can lose weight by cutting down to one beer a day instead of 4 or eating your spaghetti with low fat sauce are clueless. I hope in your next life you get a chance to experience life in the plus sizes. In the meantime, just say "Thank you, God," and stop patting yourself on the back.

I have found that all of us tend to look down our noses at people whose problems we aren't likely to have ourselves. I, for instance, have judged illiterate people harshly. I taught myself to read before I went to school, so what is WRONG with those people, I thought. Especially the ones who were trying to read in their native language.

Now that I'm old and wise and have worked at the Reading Lions Center for several years, I understand. And I've also found that some of those seemingly illiterate folks are smarter than I am, and talented in other ways. As I got older, it got harder and harder to find someone to look down upon. So I've mostly given that up. Well, except for Caltrans engineers (no offense Mitzi and Mikey) who seem to lack an ounce of common sense.

Placerville Memories

Merlene and I graduated from high school in El Dorado county in 1965. We were good friends, though sometimes in a competitive way. I was an overachiever, always trying to get the best grades. Merlene was smarter than I was, and always seemed so worldly. I don't know why, she was pretty much a backwoods hick, just like I was.

We left my house in the RAV4 and took the back roads for a trip up Memory Lane to Placerville. The back roads haven't changed much. Merlene remembered driving them with her dad. I remembered riding up them in Ben's cattle truck, usually with a couple of cow dogs in front and a horse or two in the back.

This is the house where Merlene's family lived for a while. One of her sisters still lives there. We enjoyed a nice lunch with sister Char. I liked her right away because she also has battles with CalTrans.



For dinner, we met another classmate we hadn't seen in a long time, Sandy.


It always amazes me that people remember different things about the same events. Sometimes when I hear other people's versions I have to wonder how they know more about my historical times than I do. I guess I just didn't pay attention to the same things. I always had my nose in a book, or my butt on the back of a horse.

This has been a great month for seeing old friends and old places.

Appreciating My Brother

One of my internet buddies, Yorkshire Pudding, lost his own dear brother recently. His writings prompted me to promise myself to see my own brother as often as I can. He lives 2 hours away on a road that bores me to tears. But Merlene and I routed our trip past his house so we could spend some time there.

Thanks, YP, for giving me a wake-up call.

And thank you, Baby Bro and Aunty Mo, for the hospitality.

XOX

Before We Left

My friend from Texas, Merlene, flew in a week ago Saturday night. On Sunday I tried to show her the corn festival. She took this picture for me. I was goofing around, pretending to be attacked by gourds. Evidently the young man behind me wasn't impressed.


I toodled over to a booth to buy something that caught me eye, and Merlene just disappeared. Found her later in the house, where it was considerably cooler than outside.

There was a pony ride at the festival. I took this photo for Uncle B to show the difference between our ponies and English ponies. The ponies he showed in his blog are the cutest little fat things, just like the ones in the Thelwell books.


Our ponies are leaner, they are proportioned like small horses. I suppose they look thin in comparison, they're not. These ponies were in perfect shape. They aren't as cute as Uncle B's, but a kid could ride one easier. For one thing these aren't so round that a child's legs poke out to the sides. Also, with their leaner necks, a kid can turn them easier. Bob took lessons on a pony that was built like a fireplug once, I doubt an adult could have kept it from grabbing the bit and nosing around where it pleased. It was like riding a rhinoceros.

Leaving Cats in Charge

I was gone for 6 days. Just got back this morning, I'll tell you all about it when I get the pictures uploaded.

I left the cats in charge while I was gone. Here are 3 of them on the job. The other one was hiding, she only works the night shift.

Nothing was stolen, nothing appears to have been harmed. I guess the cats did a good job, despite their less than enthusiastic attitude.

Random Stuff

Does your cat help you do housework? George helps me make the bed. When I put the clean sheet on the bed, he jumps in the middle of it and wads it all up into a ball. I'm not sure what that accomplishes, in his mind, but he's so enthusiastic!

These are the last of my lilies. They would have appreciated some cooler weather to finish their job of blooming.


It was a very long lily season. I missed a lot of it while I was on my road trip.

And this is one of the photos Bob took when I got home from Glamour Shots. Right before I washed the stuff off my face. I thought I was going to have to use 409.



The Corn Festival has been fun. I didn't haul my camera over there, though. Maybe tomorrow.

Going to the airport tonight to pick up Merlene. Hope she doesn't mind that George made the bed for her.

Corn Festival

The Annual Davis Ranch Corn Festival in Sloughhouse is today (July 17) and tomorrow. There are pony rides, a petting zoo, vendors selling handmade items - jewelry, quilts, etc. And some excellent food. There's plenty of parking.

A fire up the road has traffic backed up on Hwy. 16 as I write this. I'd take Kiefer past the dump and go the back way to Hwy 16, then turn right in front of the school and come back down to the Corn Stand.

I've already been out and bought some stuff. I got a pound of home-roasted coffee and am enjoying a cup of it right now. I bought only one piece of jewelry, but may go back for another that I think will make a good gift. The one I bought is from a booth that is selling items made by Middle School kids. The teacher is out here with all the items, and I bought something because I want to support her efforts.

I also bought a small pillow to keep in the car. The material has scenes from Route 66. Katherine and I should have had this on our trip.

Maybe next year I'll raise 100 laying hens and have a booth. No, I won't do that, but it sounds cool, doesn't it? I can buy Anconas from Murray McMurray (in my opinion the world's best layers) for $2.50 each as day old chicks. If I bought 100 and sold them at 3 or 4 months for $7.00 each, I wouldn't make enough money to cover the expense and hassle of raising them, and I'd have to listen to people bitch about how much it cost. "I'm not paying $7.00 for a CHICKEN," the idiots would say. "It only costs a coupla bucks for a dozen eggs."

Right, and an Ancona will lay 200 eggs a year for 3 or 4 years, but the dudes won't hear that because it's more fun to be a know-it-all critic. (Sort of like I'm a critic of dudedom.)

There's a country band out there, I hear the music wafting through the screen door. And a bouncy house for kids. I can hear happy screams.

If you come on out, stop by and watch me clean house. Merlene is flying in tonight from Texas. The house cleaning ladies are not due until after she leaves. Well, that was bad timing.

Getting Blogged Down

I know, I know, sometimes it's a week before I get something new posted. Especially this time of the year. I've noticed a lot of blogs get blogged down in the summer. One that I follow (that's you, Lisa) hasn't had a new post since June 22. A couple that have commercials, so the bloggers do them to make some money, I think, have had only one post a week for quite some time. A couple more are written by people who live on farms, and this is a busy time of year for them so they don't write as often.

So I'm not just being lazy, there is a general busy-ness this time of year.

This week I had to work half of my Wednesday to try to catch up on a job that has slipped out of control. That was OK. The other half of the day I spent doing something I've always thought might be fun. I went to Glamour Shots and had my picture taken. They put makeup on your face and do some doodah stuff with your hair and then spend what seems like a whole hour taking pictures with the standard studio props. Glamour Shots will also do sexy pictures of you in your underwear. But I could see no value to posterity in that.

I'm not as fat right now as I was for most of my life. My hair is still decent and my wrinkles aren't deep enough yet to grow mold down there in their crevices, so I decided it was a good time.

It was fun. First the makeup lady airbrushed my face. Yep, they blow on industrial strength makeup. It tickles. Then she did my eyes. There are 3 degrees of makeup: Casual Harlot, Medium Harlot, and Obtuse Harlot. I chose casual and still got more "stuff" on my face than it has ever seen. I felt like Miss Kitty in Gunsmoke, except I didn't get a fake mole.

The hair lady didn't really do much to my hair. She asked if I wanted it curly or straight. I've spent so much money getting it straight and smooth I didn't want to undo that. Though it might have been amusing to see her try to curl it.

The photographer was maybe 26, a very small, lithe young lady. She would demonstrate a pose for me then ask me to do it, not understanding that even standing with one foot in front of the other and crossing my arms for 2 minutes might not be do-able for an old lady who is rickety. But I survived. The hardest thing was trying to take everything seriously.

For example, there was a plastic pillar that was used a lot. Lean on the pillar, put your cheek on the pillar, lots of poses with the pillar. I said, "Why don't we pretend like I'm drunk and it's a streetlamp?" She wouldn't let me put the fake rose between my teeth and fake a tango, either. Well, she let me do it, but she wouldn't take the picture.

The only hard part was afterwards. They want you to pick out the pictures you will buy before you leave. Any of you who have had pictures done know how hard this is. There are 41 pictures to start with. I narrowed it down to 11, then to 6. The problem is I only really needed 1 picture, and not a big one. Like I want a picture of myself on the walls at home? The (young) saleslady said, "You could give the picture to your boyfriend." Sure, like I want a boyfriend, either!

So the pictures come in sets that have one big one, two medium ones, and a sheet of little ones. Just like in 3rd Grade. I said, "I don't really need a sheet of small pictures, it's not like I'll be trading them with classmates." Actually what I wanted was for them to just download everything onto a CD so I could play with the pix myself. Sure, they could do that for a bajillion dollars. BUT if you buy a big fancy picture and sets of 6 different shots, they would do a CD for a reduced price.

They have this down to a fine science. They know exactly what people really want, and how to add all sorts of stuff people don't want so they can charge more. Well, OK, it's not the way I'd conduct business but that might be why I'm working for wages instead.

When I got home I made Bob take a couple of pictures before the hair and makeup work wore off. Then he said, "I need you to stretch this chicken wire while I staple it." So, in my nice clothes - complete with necklace itching my neck - with acrylic fingernails I got for the first time in my life (that's another story) and with complete harlot makeup and chemically smoothed hair, I spent the next hour helping him work on the new pigeon pen.

Bye bye glamour. It was fun while it lasted.

Preparing for Raccoons

We haven't had a raccoon in the yard - at least not a problem one - for a while. But Bob and Nick (from the neighborhood) are prepared! Nick joined the army to learn to shoot raccoons, he's out now. Sloughhouse is safe.

These guns are NOT in my house. The guys wouldn't let ME handle the guns. Coincidentally, I saw this video on YouTube the same day. It must have been on their minds.

Wonder Woman's Dog

An Associated Press story this afternoon relates that actress Lynda Carter Altman, who played Wonder Woman on TV in the 1970s was charged with allowing her dog's barking to disturb neighbors in her Maryland community near Washington, D.C.

For one thing, who would notice one more animal yapping near Washington, considering the senseless noise most of the politicians make?

But also, the dog was referred to as a Labrador retriever. This doesn't look like a lab to me.

Nasty Shoppers

When I picked up my refrigerator drawer part after work today, I came home through Elk Grove.

Elk Grove used to be the town where people from my area always went. They went shopping there, they went to high school there. Elk Grove was a small dairy and farm town. In the winter you would see half the population walking around in mucky boots. The small restaurants were full of these folks at breakfast time. You would always eat your eggs and bacon with the faint odor of dairy cow poo wafting through the air.

It's not a small town anymore, it's a mess, one idiotic housing development smooshed in between two others. I don't often go there anymore.

But today I did, and I was reminded of something I learned long ago - the nastiest shoppers in the county all reside in Elk Grove.

Have you ever been headed for the checkout line and had someone glance at you out of the corner of their eye, speed up on purpose, and pull their cart rudely in front of yours? Then they look off in the other direction as if they didn't see you? I've had this happen maybe 6 times in my life, and always in Elk Grove.

I don't know why this is, maybe it just got started with one sourpuss and spread all over town. The little old lady who cut me off this afternoon was typical of what I've seen. She had one of those mouths with wrinkles all around it that made it look like she sucks lemons for fun. You know, the kind of mouth that is vaguely reminiscent of an anus? You just know there will be no good outcome if you clear your throat and say something like, "Pardon me, but I was here first."

The checkers see what's happening and they ignore it. That's OK, I'll just keep spending my money in Rancho Cordova.

On the way out of Elk Grove I had to drive through 2 more things I find offensive about the "new" Elk Grove - roundabounds! It's interesting that in Sedona, where we saw 7 of them in a row, the drivers seem to take pride in the social and ecological correctness of these traffic hazards. They are patient and polite and everyone takes his turn.

In a town like Elk Grove, I predict they will always be sore spots. The nastiest shoppers in the county don't do well in the roundabounds either.

Oh, so I got home and Bob took the parts from me and started to install them in the refrigerator. "Where's the replacement screw," he asked, "for the one that's broken off here?" Ah yes, that would be the one I didn't know about. So now we have a brand-spankin' new produce drawer that lists to one side because there's a screw missing. It looks like it wasn't made to be replaced, either, because there's no way to get the old piece out. It's welded into the wall of the refrigerator.

So I'm back to shopping for a refrigerator.

Refrigerators

The part is only going to cost $36 but of course it wasn't in stock, I have to go out of my way again tomorrow to go get it.

I hate my refrigerator. I have hated it since the day it was pushed into my kitchen. I didn't pick it out, John did. At the time I thought, "What difference will it make? A refrigerator is just a refrigerator."

Wrong.

The old one was wide. This one is a side by side, neither side is big enough to actually be useful. The freezer side had an automatic ice maker that was never hooked up. Why did he buy one with an icemaker if he never intended to hook it up? (Why do men do half the things they do?) You can't really have an icemaker out here in the country, where our well water has sand in it and it will clog tiny water lines.

Also I've hated this refrigerator because it's half plastic. My old one was metal. The shelves and the drawers did not break, not ever. The shelves on the doors of this one are constantly broken. I mean, if you put two full half gallons of milk on the door and open the door too fast, the plastic thing that holds them on the shelf will break. But hey! No problem, I have a whole drawer full of replacement parts and plenty of white duct tape.

Today I decided to look at new refrigerators while I was at Zajic's. Guess what? I don't like any of them.

None of them has as much room as my old one, not even the superduper $3000 model. And they're all plastic.

I thought I wanted one with the refrigerator on the top and the freezer on the bottom. These all had pull out drawers on the bottom. You had to stack all the stuff, so you'd never see what was on the bottom. Why have a freezer at all if you never know what's in it?

Ice cream is the only thing that is easy to find in a freezer. As soon as you bring it home from the store, it calls to you. 24 hours a day, ice cream calls to you. You know that's true, how many times have you been caught at midnight eating ice cream in the kitchen, right out of the carton? Well, I don't eat ice cream any more, so I don't even need a freezer.

All I need is a huge produce drawer for salad stuff, and a shelf that's deep enough to store big bottles of Tejava. Also room for some cottage cheese and yogurt. Everything else in the refrigerator is Bob's.

I offered to let John take HIS refrigerator when he moved out. He didn't. He has a smallish one in his mobile home, AND right in the middle of the living area, a huge old fashioned one, sorta like my old one, that he bought from someone who was moving.

Maybe I can find one like that.

First Wednesday

...off, that is. I have Wednesdays off work this year. Which means I'll have time to perfect my Photoshop skills (y'all better watch out!), and start new projects. What have I done so far today? I had to make my own pot of coffee, it's not like at work where Kathy gets in early and has it waiting for the rest of us.

I've visited with a neighbor. That was great! I miss that when I have to work in town every day. In this rural area the whole valley is your workplace, and your neighbors are your co-workers. When I was a kid, the guys all had lunch together at Sloughhouse. Now there's no central place for them to hang out, I guess they just see each other in the fields.

I've let George the cat in and out 3 times. He's excited someone is here to do that on a weekday.

And now I'm going to see if I can get the old produce drawer out of the refrigerator and take it to Zajic's to get a replacement. I'm tired of having to lift up the milk cartons and push the drawers in with my foot. It's been broken for years.

Bob is watching part eight of the old PBS series on the Civil War. The way he absorbs information, this will be like taking a university class, without the essay tests. Then he's going to make a run to the recycling center with many bags of cans and bottles. Maybe he'll take me to dinner tonight.

I told the folks at work to refer to my Wednesdays as "out of the office." As in, Jan is out of the office on Wednesday. Doesn't that sound very professional?

Bob's Entry

I told Beverly I wouldn't get into a Photoshop challenge with Bob. That's because he took the class twice and I just dabble in it. But he got home from work just in time to help me with his entry - Bob's face on Will Ferrell's magnificent body. I could have done a better job matching the color, but I would have had to ask for more help.

So, here's Bob's entry for the new Wonder Woman outfit.

Bev's Entry

Here's Beverly's entry for the new Wonder Woman. Good job, Bev. Luckily it was warm enough yesterday you didn't have to worry about goosebumps. How do you keep them white boots clean?

Auditioning

If a foreign artist is going to strip Wonder Woman of her red-white-and-blueness, I think we should protest. Soccer may be international, Wonder Woman is not.

This 4th of July, when you're wearing your holiday outfits, have someone take your picture. We'll hold our own audition for a new Wonder Woman. Here's my entry.



Email your entries to: jancblawat@gmail.com

The Controversy Swirls

More on Wonder Woman, from the Internet:


New Wonder Woman Loses Patriotic Costume in Favor of "Globalized" Duds
by Jo Piazza

Wonder Woman may have finally been given a pair of pants, but has she been stripped of her patriotism?

The new and allegedly improved Wonder Woman (a.k.a Diana Prince), has been given a head-to-toe makeover by artist Jim Lee, replacing her signature American flag decorated briefs with skintight black pants and purging the super hero of all her trappings of Americana.

Wonder Woman’s original red, white and blue costume, which practically screams America through its stars and stripes covered bodice and belly, was a product of World War II-inspired patriotism, explains Charlie Jane Anders, Managing Editor of io9, Gawker Media’s blog about comics and science fiction.

Which Costume Do You Like Best?

“The American-ness of her costume really dates from World War II, and it feels like it's part of her roots, even if she is supposed to have come from an island full of Amazons," Anders told FOX411.com. "I think making her look more ‘globalized’ isn't necessarily a bad idea, but you have to be careful not to sacrifice what makes her distinctive and thrilling in the process."


RELATED LINKS
Wonder Woman Trading in Star-Spangled Hot Pants for Leggings
Some fans don’t welcome the change.

“One of the reasons I fell in love with the character of Wonder Woman in the first place, back when I was a kid, had a lot to do with the visual aesthetic of her costume being inspired by the American flag,” says Antony Coukos, Wonder Woman collector and curator of ExperiencetheWonder.com, a collectibles and fan site for the female super hero. “Rendering the patriotic elements of her classic hero costume to ‘accessories’ that look be-dazzled onto the clothing - such as gold stars on the shoulders of a blue leather jacket - definitely seem to portray Wonder Woman less as the Ambassador of Peace we have come to love over the past 70 years. This version looks more like what we might see in a fashion magazine featuring a street-wear look ‘inspired by Wonder Woman’.”

A comic book artist who has worked with DC Comics, which publishes the Wonder Woman comic books and owns her image, says the removal of the flag symbolism probably has a lot to do with international commercial intentions.

“This new sleek and fashionable Wonder Woman will translate well to a film franchise centered on a female action hero. That wouldn’t have worked as well with the bright and flashy red, white and blue costume, and it definitely wouldn’t have played in the very lucrative international markets," said the artist, who wished not to be named because of ties to DC. "The new Wonder Woman costume looks like something you could put on Angelina Jolie, or on one of the bad guys from the 'Twilight' saga.”

Indeed a Wonder Woman movie is in development and slated for release in 2013.

For its part, DC has been dancing around the question of why the flag was dropped from Wonder Woman’s couture. Artist and DC Comics Co-Publisher Jim Lee, who undertook the redesign, admitted in a blog post on the DC website that changing the classic costume was incredibly challenging.

“We decided to go for broke, take no prisoners and let me tell you—it was difficult. Wonder Woman’s costume is so infused into our understanding of the identity of the character that it took many numerous back and forths ’til we broke down what existed, got back metaphorically to the clay from which Wonder Woman started and something new started to form," Lee wrote. "So we played down and scaled back the iconic elements—the stars, the eagles, the double WW’s, lightened up the motifs and added armor which could pass as street gear."

But when asked about the absence of the American flag on the new costume, a spokesperson for DC hedged.

“We at DC Comics are exceedingly proud of Wonder Woman’s heritage and Superman’s heritage as iconic symbols of American patriotism," the rep told FOX411.com. "Suggestions that any costume changes within their 70 plus years of rich storytelling come at the expense of this heritage are unfounded. The latest evolution of Wonder Woman’s iconic costume is a central part of the latest comic book storyline. All of the classic symbols – patriotic (stars, eagle) and heroic (lasso, bracelets) – are ever-present. We encourage Wonder Woman fans to stay tuned.”

Lynda Carter, the actress who portrayed Wonder Woman on TV in the 1970s, declined to answer Fox 411.com’s question about the removal of the American flag from the Wonder Woman costume. In a previous interview, Carter said she thinks Wonder Woman would want all the upset fans to just “get over it.”

“She’s got an attitude, and if this is the new thing she wants to wear, well by God she’s going to wear it,” Carter said. “And I like that. And I hope somewhere in the story someone mentions, where’s the old one? And she says, 'Get over it.'”