Why Charley Dislikes George

Bob is supposed to be Charley’s own personal mattress. A happy scene like this makes him mad enough to sneak off and piss on furniture.


It's that green-eyed demon, envy.

Making Do With Pets

When there are no small children in the house, sometimes people compensate at Christmas by treating their pets like kids.

With no toys for humans to assemble, Bob put together the cat tree that Aunt Shirley had given us. Velcro and Charley were as excited as two little kids.


Almost finished.


Charley inspects it.


Like little kids, the cats decide they prefer the box.


The toy we bought them at PetSmart wasn’t very popular either.


What they really liked was the ribbon and bows, they’re still hauling them around the house and playing with them.


People who have little kids around might not give pets as much attention.


That would be people in some other family. Lexi, her dad Dominic, and Bubba the dog play with Lexi’s new Tonka truck from Aunt Tina at Aunt Grandma Patty’s house.

Decorating With Cats

Our farm has at least 30 acres of Christmas trees, but we don’t have one in the house. I could give you all sorts of ecological reasons why not, but the truth is simply that we’re too lazy to do all that for just the two of us and the cats.

So I have a 3 foot tall fake tree, some lights on the mantle, and lots of poinsettias. I bought them for work first, and they were enjoyed there until the 23rd. Then I brought them home.


The cats like to pose with them. Or maybe it’s just that the flowers are in places where the cats usually sleep. Whatever.


Charley arranges himself more artfully than George does. Here he is on the bathroom rug.


I also have a few favorite decorations out. Two ceramic pieces made by Aunt Shirley.


A needlework made by Sarah long ago.


This lovely wreath (?) made by Bob in 3rd grade.


And this ancient, tattered Santa that has been through at least 50 Christmases in this house. The price tag on the back says 39 cents.


I decorated the cat's hidey box in the dining room so it wouldn't clash with the Christmas decor. I wrapped it and the big banana squash that weights it down in wrapping paper, and added a few fake poinsettias. Martha Stewart isn’t the only talented decorator around!


I have lots of wonderful ornaments, including some hand-blown ones that were in Aunt Bea’s family and some from John’s family. They are safely stored away, too delicate to decorate a tree in a house full of cats that love toys. I used to cut a branch from the blue spruce and nail it high on the wall, out of reach of the little boy and the cats. In my old living room with the 45 year old carpet and the 4 peeling layers of wallpaper, I didn’t care if sap ran down the walls. But then I had the room remodeled.

It’s OK. I have notes tucked away with the old ornaments that tell their history. And every ornament that anyone ever gave Bob has a tag on it with the date and who it's from. The little boy is all grown up now. He will have his own family some day and he can tell his kids about the old things. And his wife can worry about pounding holes in the walls.

Christmas Prep

I used to spend a week making cookies to give away at Christmas. I stopped doing this a couple of years ago when I became diabetic. This year Bob (who cooks for a living right now) asked if I’d make cookies. “Nope,” I answered, “but I’ll dig out the recipes and you can do it.”

So he did. This is the first day. The kitchen is still clean. Bob has a smile on his face.


And this is the end of the week. He’s still having fun, but cookie fatigue has set in. Bob ended up making LOTS of really nice cookies. We had a great time taking them around the neighborhood and sitting and talking for a while, and taking some to friends and relatives. The kid gets an A in cookie baking. (By the way, Weed is a small town in Northern California, a fun place to buy T-shirts.)


Ever wonder what the difference is between store-bought eggs and home-grown ones? Here’s just one difference: egg shell strength. The brown mutt chicken egg had a hard shell, it takes a real whap to break it. Then you pick up a store-bought egg and do the same, and it just mooshes all over everything.

Quoting Andy Warhol

The latest issue of Hobby Farms quotes Andy Warhol:

"I think having land and not ruining it is the most beautiful art that anybody could ever want to own."

Wow. I never imagined that a strange New Yorker could speak so directly to my heart. Thanks Andy, wherever you are. (I know he's deceased. Or "late" as Precious Ramotswe would say.)

Love to You All!

Merry Christmas everyone!

The Cap'n Entertains

The Cap’n is lucky to have friends like Wonder Woman and Hotei. They came to the party early with lots of Christmas spirit, to help decorate and get everything ready.


Hotei greeted the guests at the door. This is Vicky and Lillian. Vicky is Wonder Woman’s cousin. She’s a lady wrestler. Lillian is the oldest lady wrestler in the World Wrestling Federation (WWF). Wonder Woman suggested inviting them because Hotei is interested in a wrestling job.


Chicken rode with PeeWee, they arrived a little later, they got held up at the Rancho Murieta gate when Chicken couldn’t remember the Cap’n’s new address.


Q took these pictures for us. He says everyone had lots to talk about. The Cap'n has met aliens from all over the universe, but they're nothing like the strange people in the WWF.




When it was time to leave, Chicken had to catch a ride home with the ladies. PeeWee overdid it a bit at the bar, so he stayed overnight on the couch.



Katherine named the Cap'n's cat, by the way. He's Crusher.