I don't get many phone calls. I don't really want many. I love to hear from friends and relatives, of course, and I'm as likely to talk for hours as anyone. But if you're selling something, don't call my house.
I don't want my carpets cleaned. I don't care who your candidate is. I don't want to talk to you about refinancing my house. Most of these are machine-generated calls; there isn't a real person on the line so I just hang up, wishing I could remotely set off a stink bomb at the other end of the line by pressing a special code on my dial.
I have told you before that my least favorite call is the viagra salesman from a foreign country. It's a real person, usually a guy, who tells you his name is "Jeff" when it's obviously not. He starts with, "I'm calling about your last order of viagra, were you satisfied?" I have a carefully contrived answer for this. Miraculously, because my memory often fails me otherwise, I can remember this answer word-for-word and deliver it with passion. I won't recite it for you because it includes several nasty phrases and ends with telling the now-hostile fellow on the phone to take a big snoot of that viagra and go amuse himself AFTER he takes my number off his calling list, because if he ever calls here again he will eternally regret it.
Actually, maybe I really do like that call. Self-righteous indignation suits me.
Today, as I was trying to unlock the front door and stumbling my way into the house carrying packages, the phone rang. It was my second least favorite foreigner. "I am callink about dyour windoss operatink system,..." he said. "I don't have a stinking, stupid Windows operating system," I replied. He retorted, in a patronizing tone, "That iss not possible! Efryone hass this!"
My answer for this fellow was nowhere near as well-polished as my viagra script, but I did manage to get in several sentences about using a Mac and not needing his services EVER because I'll never, ever, touch a computer with Windows on it, so there! Don't ever call me again you reprehensible pest!
He said, "----k you, ma'am." I couldn't tell if he said "thank" or the other word that ends in "k" because his accent was so strong, so I simply replied, "same to you."
I'm sure this won't be my last post about annoying sales calls. There appears to be no way to get them to stop. I don't like being the ugly American, but I'm griped about the attitude these people have; that it's their right to pester and harass me into sending them money for something I totally do not need or want.
Show up at my door, you buzzard bait.
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6 comments:
Leave the phone off the hook and walk away..checking the phone every five minutes or so....no need to rush....it's on their tab!!!
Jane x
Yep we do the same as Jane and Chris.
Cheers
I had two of these annoying calls this afternoon - when I was doing other things. Often I just put the phone down but this time I yelled like a madman at the phone invaders and pleaded with them to scrub my name and number from their stinking lists. Why do we have governments if they can't even protect citizens from these persistent invasions of our privacy? Nobody likes them and nobody wants them.
Ugly American? They treat us like deep pocket Americans. Of course, you do realize this is just an outsourced phone bank?
You know we are coming down to the nightly-dozen political ads. It is going to be a horrible next few months.
Our phone has phone block...as soon as I get one I block the number...love that feature...love it!
Linda
http://coloradofarmlife.wordpress.com
Oh my. Jane and Chris are in Canada. Lady Helsie is in Australia. YP is in England. You mean all of us English-speaking people are harassed by unwanted calls? I wonder if this happens in other countries. Do people in India get junk calls from Indonesians? Do Japanese get junk calls from Brazilians? Are people the world over making money by tormenting foreigners?
PP, the main thing I hate about political ads is they're recorded so you can't even argue with them. Politics is something to be argued about (says the ex-political science major). Also most of what they say is lies, which I can't understand because there seems to be plenty of true dirt that can be discussed.
YP, our governments don't protect us from this stuff because when they're running for office our own politicians are the worst abusers.
Linda, I've never heard of phone block, but I've had the same number for 45 years, it's been a while since our service has been updated. I'll look into that.
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